Mongrel Heart

I can't believe the things I've done. And done to you.

I don't know who I think I'm kidding sometimes.
Besides myself. I know I'm kidding myself.

I think about the l*ve word a lot.
What's the definition??

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it as:

Main Entry: 1love
Pronunciation: \ˈləv\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English lufu; akin to Old High German luba love, Old English lēof dear, Latin lubēre, libēre to please
Date: before 12th century
1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests b : an assurance of love 2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion 3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration b (1) : a beloved person : darling —often used as a term of endearment (2) British —used as an informal term of address4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God5 : a god or personification of love6 : an amorous episode : love affair7 : the sexual embrace : copulation8 : a score of zero (as in tennis)9 capitalized Christian Science : god
— at love : holding one's opponent scoreless in tennis
— in love : inspired by affection



!!!

I don't even know if I know what love is anymore. I want to know so badly. I was talking about "agape" love with someone today. She doesn't think that humans are capable of it. I don't know.

Here I am, back to not knowing again. I thought I was sure of at least a few things recently.

I'm not.

Not at all.